I was thinking the other day about what Christianity is and what it looks like. It got me thinking about how Christianity looks in the lives of some of my friends/family/acquaintances. Here are some of the different outlooks people seem to have on Christianity:
- God is always out to bless me, he’s my own personal genie in a bottle, and being part of the “Christian” club is all about exclusivity; God’s blessings are only for those who belong to the club and the blessings only really go to those who are extra holy and deserving, as a result: I read the Bible and pray every day, witness to everyone who isn’t a believer, and go to church at least 3 times a week.
- Being a Christian doesn’t really mean that I have to make any changes to my everyday life or do anything different than non-Christians. It’s ok to have premarital sex, get drunk, smoke weed, and go to parties.
- Because I’m a Christian, I am not allowed to go to the doctor because God alone is my healer. In fact, I will never admit to anyone (not even myself) when I am sick or have a disease, because doing so would be a disgrace to God, it would show him that I don’t trust him or believe him when he tells me I am whole. (I won’t ever openly admit to this, but…I am kooky and extremist in my beliefs.)
- We as humans are bad, evil, wretched creations. We should restrict ourselves and our desires and we should berate ourselves for any minor infraction. Christianity is about shame and deprivation.
- Christianity is real and it’s relevant to me. I go to church on Sundays, but I don’t really think about God any other day of the week.
- I am a Christian and that is why I dress up and go to church on Easter and Christmas.
- I may be a Christian, but I’m also really good at lying and manipulating other people. I cheat and I’m a hypocrite, but nobody in my church family would ever believe this about me because I’m really good at covering up my tracks and avoiding questions that might lead someone to my true identity.
None of those depictions seem like the right fit for me. How can Christianity look so different in the lives of different people? I’m still trying to figure out what I think Christianity should look like. More importantly though…DO I even get to choose? It doesn’t seem like I should be able to…(seems like it would leave to much room for error)
I have been reading your posts and feel so sad for you. I cannot fathom how deeply damaging fundamentalism has been for you. To think you are out "trying" all the lifestyles you think you should now, like over indulgence in sex, alcohal and drugs. And then to see these as the "forms" or models of Christianity? These are not the models of any Christians I know. And frankly, not the models of most mainsteam denominations. I hope you keep searching and are able to see how utterly queer are the conclusions that fundamentalism leads you to. I continue to hope you find peace.
ReplyDelete-Christianity is real and it’s relevant to me. I go to church on Sundays, but I don’t really think about God any other day of the week.
ReplyDeleteIs it "think" or "talk"?
I've met people who are so involved with another person, they almost never talk about that person. They use plural pronouns to refer to themselves. They do everything together. It is assumed everyone knows.
@Sherry - thank you for your encouragement. To be fair, I guess I should qualify that last post by admitting to only really including the depictions of Christianity I see around me which seem absurd (and to be honest, if you haven't already guessed, I can be dramatic at times). I guess what frustrates me the most is that there's so much variance in how Christianity is played out...but I guess that doesn't have to really be a negative thing though, it just means that the same way is not right for everyone.
ReplyDelete@Tragedy101 - I meant both (the kind of person who goes to church on Sunday (either because they "have to", or it's just habit/routine but God has nothing to do with how they live there life day to day.
We can only know what people talk about, not what they think about.
ReplyDeleteUnless people talk [or write] about why they do certain activities in their daily lives, we cannot know why they do those activities.
Is it your contention: Because they haven't told you that God is a reason for choosing what they do in their day to day life that those choices have nothing to do with God?
It is my contention that these people appear more accurately like this:
-Christianity is real and it’s relevant to me. I go to church on Sundays, but I don’t [talk] about God [to just anyone.]
@Tragedy101 - that's fair. You make a good point.
ReplyDelete